I thought it odd when my daughter abruptly offered to take my grandson and go for a bit. My heart raced with concern when I realized what was in the child’s bag. Would my daughter come back to get her son someday? Did she even have a life?
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That Saturday, Jane arrived, which was surprising but not out of the ordinary. My kid was always the free spirit. This time, she arrived at my door with Tommy by her side, and a tired smile that only a mother could understand filled up her face. However, there was a difference.
Jane’s step lacked the customary bounce, and the little wrinkles of concern around her eyes were more intense and defined.
“Mom, I need a favor,” she said as soon as she stepped inside, setting Tommy down. He immediately ran off to the living room, where his favorite toys waited, completely oblivious to the tension in the air.
“Of course, sweetheart. What do you need?” I asked, trying to catch her eye. But my daughter was already moving to the hallway, where she left a large blue suitcase.
“I’ve got this work thing, last-minute,” she said, her voice a little too bright. “I need you to watch Tommy for around two weeks. Maybe a little longer.”
I scowled as a queasy feeling twisted in my stomach. But I didn’t worry too much because I always enjoyed spending time with my grandson. He was a bundle of enthusiasm, inquisitive, and full of funny questions! I loved him!
“It’s just… a new project. You know how it is. I’ll be back before you know it,” she replied, still avoiding my gaze.
“It’s merely a fresh endeavor. You are aware of the situation. I’ll be back sooner rather than later,” she answered, continuing to look away from me.
Even though she would never confess it, her hands were fidgeting with the strap of her purse, a clear indication that she was uneasy.
“Jane,” I pressed, trying to reach through the wall she was putting up. “Is everything alright? You look exhausted. If you need to talk, I’m here.”
When we eventually made eye contact, I saw something raw and frightening flash across her face for a fraction of a second before she covered it up with a fake grin. “I really am OK. Simply worn out. There’s no need to be concerned.”
However, I was concerned. My daughter was not one to seek for help lightly, and there was a sense of weight to this plea that went unspoken. However, I nodded and drew her into an embrace. “All right. But make me a promise—if you need anything, phone me.”
She hugged me back, but it was brief, almost rushed. “I will, Mom. Thanks.”
And just like that, she was gone, hurrying to get to her plane and abandoning Tommy behind.
Fortunately, Tommy was simple to divert. We read books, played games, and indulged in his favorite snacks throughout the day. I ignored the nagging feeling of discomfort and concentrated on making him happy. Jane had, after all, said she would return shortly.
There was no grounds for doubting it. My grandson spilled juice all over himself at supper, so I didn’t go to the luggage to get him some new clothes until later that night. I was astonished and even more alarmed by what I learned!
As I opened it, I anticipated seeing the typical items—pajamas, t-shirts, and perhaps a toy or two. However, what I discovered was sobering. It looked like just clothes at first. However, as I went through them, I understood they weren’t temporary.
There was a coat, gloves, thick sweaters, and winter clothing. Next, lighter jacket, rain boots, and spring attire. My heart began to race! If Jane would only be gone for a week, why would she pack for several seasons?
Subsequently, I discovered what appeared to be the boy’s medication and toys, Tommy’s inhaler, allergy tablets, and a bottle of cough syrup. If Jane decides to remain longer, she would never forget. A shiver ran up my spine as the parts began to fall into place.
This was more than a quick two-week vacation. With trembling hands, I continued to dig. There was a simple white envelope with my name written in Jane’s handwriting in the bottom of the luggage.
There was money in there. Lots and lots of it! More than I had ever seen her toting. A terrible conclusion started to sink in, causing my breath to catch in my throat. Jane had no intention of returning any time soon, if at all!
My thoughts were racing, as I attempted to make sense of it all. Why would she abandon Tommy in this manner with me? If there was a problem, why wouldn’t she tell me about it? I picked up my phone and tried to call her, but the call ended up in voicemail.
In an attempt not to frighten the youngster, I tried not to show my panic in my message to her.
“Jane, it’s Mom. Call me back as soon as you get this. Please. I’m worried about you.”
When she still hadn’t returned my call the following morning, I became even more anxious! I gave her pals, her job, and even her former college roommate a call! Nobody has heard from her or seen her! She seemed to have disappeared out of thin air!
After three days, I was hardly able to function. Tommy was too little to know why his mother wasn’t picking up the phone, so I tried to keep things as normal as possible for him. But concern tore at my heart every time I looked at him.
Jane was where? Why would she vanish in this manner? I returned to the suitcase in the hopes that I had overlooked anything, a hint as to where she might have disappeared. However, all I discovered was the envelope with the cash, a tacit indication that my daughter had been organizing this for some time.
I felt ill to my stomach at the idea.
Over the weeks, I cried my eyes out until suddenly, my phone rang, and it was a video call. My heart leaped into my throat when I saw Jane’s name on the screen. My hands shook as I pressed the “Answer” button and saw my daughter’s face.
“Jane? Where are you? Are you okay?”
She looked exhausted and worn, and there was a long silence before she answered. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Jane, what’s going on? Where are you?”
“I am fine, Mom, but I can’t tell you where I am. I am on a secret work mission.”
“Jane, you’re scaring me. What’s happening?”
Mom, don’t worry. Trying unsuccessfully to persuade me, my daughter stated, “I am safe and okay, and I will be back soon.”
“You don’t have my trust. Why am I unable to see you clearly?” I inquired.
“Mum! You’re causing me anxiety! I’m doing great. I would like to talk to Tommy, so please put him on the phone.”
I sighed, but followed her instructions. She dropped the phone as soon as she was done talking to Tommy so she wouldn’t have to talk to me again.
She didn’t answer when I tried to call her back because the number was off! I sat there, starring at that menacing blue suitcase, wringing my hands.
I had always kept Tommy’s father’s identity a secret. Though I said to my mother that I didn’t, I knew who he was. The reality about him was much more sinister. I was aware of his dangerous nature.
I had to take quick action after learning via the grapevine that he had returned to the city. I was determined to keep Tommy’s existence a secret from him. I was afraid that if he ever did, he may steal him, abuse him, or worse.
In a frenzy, I packed Tommy’s belongings and attempted to act as though we were having a typical visit from Grandma. It was, however, distinct this time. I had to get rid of everything Tommy related from my home. I packed up his toys and clothes for that reason.
I even brought his pictures with me and took them down from the walls. I didn’t want to take any chances in case Alex showed up at my house and managed to piece everything together. Even though I understood that doing this would mean missing weeks of time with my son, I had no choice.
I was certain that my mother would protect my son. However, it pained me not to be able to tell her the truth. I was lying all along; how could I admit it? How could I admit that Tommy’s father was a real threat to our family, not just some forgotten fling?
Jane remained silent for weeks at a time. I had a pit of dread in my gut when I woke up every day. Every day I wondered if this would be the day I would receive a phone informing me that she had been located, or worse, that she had suffered some sort of trauma.
It was difficult, but I tried my best to make things normal for my grandson. Every day he inquired about his mother, so I had to tell him a falsehood when I said she would return—I had no idea if she ever would.
I waited weeks to feel comfortable enough to go back, during which time I lived in constant anxiety and heard nothing from Alex. Though I knew I had done everything in my power to keep my son safe, my heart bled from missing him.
Jane appeared worn out but was relieved when she arrived. Tommy squealed with delight as he ran over to meet her, and for a split second, everything looked normal again! However, I couldn’t get rid of the notion that this wasn’t finished while I watched them.
Lies and secrets had been the foundation of Jane’s life, and now they followed her everywhere like a shadow. Her hands quivered a little when she finally took up the bag to depart, a reminder of the weight she carried.
She turned to face me, thanks and grief mixed together in her eyes.
“Mom,” she said softly, “I can never tell you how much this means to me. But I still can’t tell you anything about my assignment. I’m sorry.”
I nodded, pulling her into a tight hug. “Just promise me you’ll stay safe, Jane. That’s all I ask.”
“I promise,” she whispered, though we both knew
I was concerned that it was a pledge she might be unable to honor.
My heart bled with both fear and love as I watched her drive off with Tommy. I was aware that she had taken the necessary steps to safeguard her son, but I also understood that there was still a long and challenging path ahead.
Even though it was incredibly comforting to have her back, the secrets she had established would always follow Jane. I stood at the door and prayed for their protection as they drove away, entrusting God to decide what would happen to them.
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